Is It Normal to Feel Guilty Hiring a Nanny?
- carla avery
- Jan 7
- 3 min read
If you’re thinking about hiring a nanny but feel conflicted, emotional or even guilty, you’re not alone. Many parents experience guilt when considering childcare support, especially when returning to work or juggling demanding schedules.
Feeling guilty hiring a nanny is incredibly common, particularly among parents who care deeply about their children’s wellbeing. In fact, guilt is often a sign that you’re taking the decision seriously, and shows the love and care you have for your child, not that you’re making the wrong choice.
Why Do Parents Feel Guilty Hiring a Nanny?
Parents today face enormous pressure to “do it all.” Social expectations, comparison culture and outdated ideas around parenting can make it feel as though needing help is a failure.
Many parents worry that hiring a nanny means:
spending less time with their child
missing important milestones
or that their child will bond more with someone else
These thoughts are normal, but they're not realistic.
Hiring a Nanny Does Not Replace a Parent
One of the most important truths to understand is this: a nanny does not replace a parent.
Children can form secure attachments with multiple caregivers. In fact, children often thrive when they have consistent, loving adults supporting them throughout the day. Remember: A child can never be shown too much love! And trust me, any nanny will tell you - children know who they're parents are.. and a nanny can never replace that special bond.
A nanny supports your family, they don’t take your place.
What Children Actually Need to Thrive
Children benefit most from:
emotional security
predictable routines
calm, attentive care
parents who are present and regulated
When parents are exhausted, stretched thin or overwhelmed, it becomes harder to offer that emotional availability. Hiring a nanny often improves family dynamics by allowing parents to be more present during the time they do have together.
Many families find that once they hire a nanny, the guilt fades and is replaced by relief, balance and confidence.
Guilt vs Reality: What’s Really Best for Your Family
Ask yourself this: Is your guilt based on your child’s experience, or on expectations placed on parents?
In reality, many children flourish with one-to-one care from a well-matched nanny. Homes become calmer, routines more stable, and parents feel supported rather than depleted.
Hiring a nanny isn’t about stepping away from parenting, it’s about strengthening it.
Choosing Childcare Support Is Not a Failure
Parenting was never meant to be done alone. Historically, families relied on extended networks of care. At our agency we work with a wide range of families - all with unique circumstances. Some parents just don't have that support. We work with single parents, busy, professional parents, expat families, and families that just need that helping hand. Hiring a nanny is simply a modern form of shared support.
Choosing help is not a weakness. It’s a thoughtful, intentional decision rooted in your family’s wellbeing.
A Healthier Way to Reframe Nanny Guilt
Instead of asking: “Should I feel guilty hiring a nanny?”
Try asking: “What support would help our family function calmly and happily?”
For many families, the answer includes trusted childcare that matches with their values, routines and lifestyle.
And that is something to feel confident about, not guilty.
If You’re Feeling Unsure
If you’re experiencing guilt about hiring a nanny, talking things through can help bring clarity and reassurance. You don’t need to have all the answers before you explore your options.
Sometimes, one calm conversation is enough to make everything feel lighter.
At our agency, we are always available for support - whether that's during your consultation, during the hiring process, or even well after placement has started, you are welcome to reach out to us for support and advice or just a listening ear.
If you’re considering hiring a nanny and would like guidance tailored to your family, I offer complimentary 30-minute consultation calls to talk things through calmly and without pressure.
Book via our Calendly link here:
WhatsApp: +44 (0) 7353781271
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